oh my GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *SCREAMS* I cant stop thinking about it! omg!!! omg!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ im going crazy!!! the show's so NICEEE.. AHHHHHHHH omgomgomgomgomgomgom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHH im becoming so obsessed over it! im going to go crazy for it for maybe like a few weeks or so. i finally understand how roxanne feels when she goes crazy over two characters! whoooos!!! i want them TOGETHER! and i mean TOGETHER!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

noo *sob sob* they're only taking each other as FRIENDS!! he doesnt want to reveal his identity. HOW CAN HE DO SUCH A THING!? noooooooooooo~ i want a PART TWO!! PART TWO!!!!!! wows. i can actually get crazy over shows i just started watching so easily cmopared to those which i had been watching for like weeks. and probably months. hahas. i want them together T-T noooooooooooooooooooooooo~ nooooooooooo~ noooo~ nooo .. but it seems like there is going to be a part two. awww can he finally reveal about himself by then? i want to see that!
hellos. ok fine. enough with crap talks. i suppose its time for me to get back to reality. that im still alive. that i still need to continue working hard to live on. sighh. though its tiring at times. sickening at times. irritating at times. and "spare-tyred" times. we still have to live on. live on in our thoughts. our dreams. our goals. sheesh!

sometimes. i feel as if im a dog. oh gee. anyways i watched the "zhao an ni hao" on channel 8 this morning about 9.30am++ haha! i couldnt believe it. i saw andrea~ lols. and 2 seniors! lols and i think i had seen more than these few. but i cant remember already. anyways i should just end here. i'll be going to the toa payoh stadium for sports day later on at 1.30pm to 5pm. so boring! sigh. nevermind. i'll entertain myself through.... through.... nevermind. i dont look forward to this event. lols =D byes
sighh. do you think im thinking right? i cant differenciate now. sometimes its just nuetral. then there are times when its frustrating and irriting and also times when im just.. enjoying... myself... my life... is it correct? is it wrong to feel? is it wrong to scream myself out... for once in my entire life.....

ive never screamed for a long.. long... longg.... time. all bottled up in me. and has never opened til.... now. is it wrong to express myself at times? am i just putting a mask over my face? does what i say, my every word, have a deeper meaning within? everything im saying? my every appearance. or am i just.... just.... just.... ..... ...... ......... playing around? is it so very wrong? to occassionally let out some flames? before my candle completely burns out. dying in the flames that had been keeping it burning... burning... its... not... wrong... isnt it?
im not going to start with hello today! i am freaking pissed!! we got WRONGLY accused by the BLOODY teacher!!! for NOT doing RESEARCH! WHAT SORT OF CRAP IS THAT!? YOU WANT PROVE. I HAVE 2 PAGES FULL OF RESEARCH. YOU THINK WE'RE THAT SMART TO KNOW SO MUCH ON MOULD!? YOU THINK THE STUPID PRIMARY TAUGHT THIS TO US!? I HOPE SOME FREAKING TEACHERS WOULD SEE THIS! I AM VERY FRUSTRATED AND PISSED! NOT LIKE ITS OUR FAULT FOR NOT HAVING PEOPLE LISTEN TO US PRESENT.

YOU THINK SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE THEY'RE NOT CLOSED TO SAY SOMETHING!? YOU THINK OUR CLASS IS THAT UNITED!? ITS MY SHIT!

ARROUSE MY SHIT INTEREST! YOU THINK YOU TALK VERY NICE ARHS!? LIKE I THINK MORE PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO LISTEN TO US THAN TO LISTEN TO YOUR BLOODY NAGGING!

I AM VERY VERY VERY FREAKING PISSED! its COMMON sense that someone would ONLY listen to another say something WHEN THEY ARE CLOSED TO EACH OTHER OR KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL.

such as a friend would OF COURSE want to listen to their other friend in another group present so as to see the work the friend had done in her other group.

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT IT'S OUR FAULT FOR NOT HAVING FRIENDS!? IS IT OUR FAULT TO BE THE LEAST NOTICED IN THE CLASS!? IS IT OUR FAULT FOR NOT HAVING A CHANCE TO SPEAK UP FOR OURSELVES AND MISERABLY LET THEM PUSH US AROUND!? IS IT OUR FAULT THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT US!? IS IT OUR FAULT THAT WE ARE TREATED LIKE PIECES OF PEBBLES-KICKED AND TOSSED!? IS IT OUR FAULT TO BE BORN IN THIS WORLD!?!? YOU THINK I WANT TO SUFFER LIKE THIS!? DO YOU KNOW HOW TOUGH IT IS TO BEAR THROUGH ALL THESE FOR 7FULL YEARS!?

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I KICKED YOU AROUND FOR 7 FULL YEARS! FOR ALL YOUR LIFE. BEING TOYED AROUND! BEING IGNORED! BEING SPARE TYRES! YOU THINKS ITS NOT TIRING!? YOU THINK ITS NOT IRRITATING!? YOU THINK I LIKE THIS WORLD AT ALL?! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I HATE MY LIFE AND I HATE THE WHOLE OF THIS WORLD! I HATE THE PEOPLE. I HATE THE FATE. I HATE EVERY SINGLE SHIT IN LIFE! I DONT WANT TO LIVE ANYMROE!!!
hellos. special thanks to roxanne who has good taste in shows! lols =D oh man!! the song you've sent me so niceee!!! "Silhouette of a breeze" waaaaa!!! rock rocks! hahas. its so classical. cant wait to do the piano and violin duet for this!! if we can ever the scores on this. and me ever managing to learn violin. we'll all rock together! hahas. zhixin's piano, vanessa's piano. waa everything also piano. lols i shall "stand out" with the violin. hahas so crapping. i dont think i'll ever master it. WAAA!!! he's having a love rival!! whoooraaahhhh!! roxanne. this show rocks.

oh wows! i didnt realise that its already 7.01pm! oh my.. how time flies when you're having fun. watching the show that is =DD i shall end here for today. byebyes.
hellos. i feel very bloggy now a days. maybe its cause ive got a lot to say. and maybe after the period of talking. i'll once again become very quiet. cannot cannot cannot! today, world down sundrome day was launched in our school. we performed for the people there for only a few minutes atcually. we exposed... oops! lalala~

anyways___ cannot cannot! i still very scared. what the crap is wrong with me?! im growing more and more afraid of you!! ahhhhhhhh!!! this cannot be happening!

im feeling so very thirsty today. i guess the event held in our school today was kind of interesting. though we were just staring at the sec1s during their junior band practise and wow. ok i shall not say.

i guess it was fun today. we had our dinner in school too. and for once our section was so 'united' oops. no offence or anything. but just ya. anyways the trip back home interesting. actually we were like waiting at the side of the road for our parents. discovered a lot of things on various people hahas. my p5 camp friend! cant believe it!! whooos. hahas

anyways. i think i should end here. i felt rather average today. my senior asked me whether i want to take triple science next year. i think its pretty tough for an average person for me! sighh. perhaps? and also i find there are so many crappish teachers around. so bias! its NOT our fault sometimes. BUT they BLAME US for EVERYTHING. like hello!!! not like adults NEVER make mistakes! teachers just feel TOO EMBARRASSED admitting that they are wrong and they THINK its OUR fault!! ITS COMPLETELY NONSENSE! and SOME teachers like certain students more and give them the advantage and give them more attention. IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR. so crap!!! i HATE some of them. URRFS!!

but really. i think i should end here. i'll continue another time. urghss!!
hellos! i suddenly felt like talking about this and i shall. hahas anyways __

even stones can crumble under one's foot if not treated with care. and i think some people should wake up from their long years of sleep. before it really does crumble and you might just fall so very badly. you can never take anything for granted even for small pebbles which might be of no use to you cause you never know when they'll break apart when there are finally too many cracks and too late for healing. everything little thing matters because that little bit of thing was used to piece the world together.

if you dont treasure what you have and when it finally breaks down, it would have been too late to glue it back.

never did change. all the chances that had flown by. never did grab on to it. couldnt bother to mould and shape to perfection. took for granted. never wanted to change.

i have only one thing in my mind. _____

every grain of sand on the beach has its importance. every drop of water in the sea has its importance. every air particle in the air has its importance.
hellos. im finally back from band camp. it was alright. i guess just that i got totally abandoned by both my friends and my section. so sad! still. i stayed strong with my other outcast friends. hahas anyways. this is the first time im staying over at the new campus. i thought the camp was kind of fun.

we had pretty much of combined practises and the room was definately cold especially when we're like wearing pe shorts. we watched "hunchback of notre dame" on the first night. then "phantom of the opera" on the second but we only watched halfway through cause of the lack of time i suppose. we had to wake up pretty early the next morning.

anyways. this is the only bad point and im going to make it loud and clear! at least i hope people would try to change this fact that we're ignored! and miserably, we're like kind of like the only 3 sec2s. sighhh oh man.

anyways theres really nothing much to talk about the camp. its just roughly about practises and the rehearsal for the down sydrome day performance thats all. so i think i should end here. good bye!
hellos. i'll be going on band camp from todays onwards til saturday evening. sighh how stressing. i read the schedule this morning and its like 9 hours of practise. 5hours in the afternoon and 4hours after evening. sigh! you wont be seeing me from 16 march all the way to 18 march. how depressing! and i think im going to fail my auditions. and thanks a lot for putting salt into the wound. sheesh some people just dont know how to console but craves to be consoled. sheesh! what crappish attitude!

anyways i think i should go now. byes! i'll be leaving my home sweet home at 12noon. hahas lalala~ i should try and look forward to later on. sighh! bye.
hellos. i cant take this anymore! its so stressful having to bare with this piece of crap! whats with the attitude? urghs! anyways. mid years are coming closer and so are the june holidays. though im looking forward to the holidays but before that. sigh! we'll have to pass through the exams. im so sick of that! arghss! i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life. anyways. we have this audition thing for band. sigh ok im scared! im terrified! urghs! im frustrated!!! i cant take this anymore! i feel as if ive fallen apart. maybe i have. oh gees.



hellos. im here with the eggs again =]] my previously hatched egg critters were adorable! i wonder what would come out of these eggs. hmms i'll need to wait anothr month. how long~ i shall end off here now since i had this really long previous post =DD byes.
*warning - this is a long... post and i do mean long. but do read it ^^ its interesting. im just apologising for this extremely long post. its 10 times longer than my longest post. hahas sorry*

hellos! wows. my muscles are like kind of aching. hahas all because of yesterday's general leadership program. it was kind of fun actually! hahas. we went for a hike from MacRitchie and walked all the way to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. how tiring was that! our instructor told us that we'll be travelling on foot for 30++ km!! wows! thats like a LOT more than 2.4km run!! so much more. hahas

we were so energetic at first when we were at macritchie and when we walked around the erms.. well it asnt really a lake but somehow like one? hahas. and we were screaming and shouting cause we were so excited for the rest of this trip!

Then we proceeded to this really shady path through the erms.. small 'forest' and the path was so rocky that i had to glue my eyes to the ground at all times. man was that hard for my neck. hahas. We had to go up hill and down slope so many times that it was starting to get tiring.

And we walked walked walked walked walked, through the golf course and across some running water on a log.. the sun was blazing hot and we were perspiring like crazy. it felt as if i had just bathed with my clothes on. After refilling our water bottles at the ranger station which was way before the first half of the trip and we were all dead tired and wet. hahas. We took a picture of the rainbow in the toilet and proceeded to the tree top walk. how fun!

The tree top walk was seriously fun! Vanessa kept shaking the bridge. hahas and i kept staring below my feet and imagining me falling all the way down with no bungee rope or whatever so. how scary can they get. was so fun! all the trees were beneath my feet! wows! and of course, time passes by when you're having fun. hahas after clearing that exciting checkpoint, we continued walking up hills and down slopes just to receive this apple which was supposed to be our passport to the next checkpoint.

Probably just to boost our energy with that apple and it was also the completion of our first half of the trip. man im tired! i still have it now didnt eat it. my hands were freaking dirty. and we walked to the main road where there was partial civilization-cars and some buildings. lols and we walked in the piercing rays of the afternoon sun as its heat reflected from the solid cement beneath our feet. We could hardly open our eyes to see as it was so glaring.

It was shit tiring. and the 12 of us divided into 3 clusters-the lead, middle people and last few. so freaking tired and so roxanne zhixin and i started to sing songs to 'cheer' us up and it actually made us forget that we're actually climbing uphill. We didnt realise anything until our instructor asked us to slow down. that was when i turned around and realised that the others were like a few metres away from us. hahas

At last, we're going back into nature again. e climbed through the fences and finally! We've reached Bukit Timah Nature Reserve! well nto exactly. only at the edge of its property. hahas then we walked through rocky paths and under the hot sun going up hills and down slopes and my toes were aching shit then. I felt so sleepy, all my energy was used to climb up and down.

We walked walked walked and walked again. and we finally reached this shady area. when we thought we were ending, out pops a thousand flights of steps! ohGOSH! was i tired! up and up and up. my legs are so tired! my feet can barely walk anymore. Then reached this resting area with benches and we jumped on them. the instructor let us rest for awhile and then continued on the climbing of steps sheesh!

I i thought i couldnt make it anymore when i found out there was a few more hundred flights of steps!!! MAN! i was shit tired then!!

OK! lets skip all the walking and some singing of our p5 camp songs and all the way to the finale!YES! we's reached the ending point and had walked down this really steep slope that my toes were freaking aching at the end of everything. We could finally having our lunch! We were happily sitting down on the benches. The abigail took out her loacker snack for us, then suddenly this mad mnokey jumped out of the tree and jumped onto the packet of loacker. man it was greedy. it took 3 at first then it saw us staring at him. He took more and stuffed it in his mouth. hahas so funny.

We were screaming mad because abigail had went to the washroom. that monkey was still there! and our instructor went to get our lunch. we couldnt help but scream! hahas! Then it even wanted to take abigail's bag. then weiting siying took their bottles and 'attacked' the monkey. they swung their bottles and the monkey ran away. AHAHS! Then it wanted to come back. hahas but we shooed it away XD SO FUNNY! we've seen a number of monkeys actually.

ok here comes our lunch and we proceeded pass the playground where 2/4 group A clapped and cheered for us and to the sight seeing spot. There was this really nice scenery of this 'mountain'. so cool ^^ our lunch was filling and our instructor had to leave for his exam. some examination. shouldnt he be studying for it? hahas. anyways we were dead tired then. roxanne and me just stood at the side and stared at them play at the playground. hahas and on the way back. we actually counted about 17 monkeys lying lazily under the sun. hahas.

what an exciting trip! i'll definately recommend it to the seconary twos of the coming year! come to think of it now. all those times when we were complaining during the trip. its actually kind of fun! it was superb! hahas. i better end off now. byebyes~